If you’ve seen the film ‘Wedding Crashers’ starring Vince Vaughan and Owen Wilson you may think that uninvited wedding guests mean complete strangers who pretend to be related to some aunt you’ve never heard of whilst eating their fill of free food and getting off with one of the bridesmaids.
However in reality your uninvited guests are less likely to be wedding gatecrashers and more likely to be tacked on guests brought by friends and relatives.
So what do you do when your cousin Eliza announces that she’ll be bringing the hunky guy she met in a club 2 weeks ago or your neighbours assume that their 5 children are also on the guest list? It’s a tricky situation that most bride and grooms dread.
Preventing Unwanted Wedding Guests
The best way of dealing with such situations is to try to prevent them from happening in the first place. Be clear on both the invitation and the RSVP card who you are inviting. If you send out an invite addressed to Mr and Mrs John Smith and family then it is not unreasonable for the Smith’s daughter to assume that her new boyfriend is also invited. So make sure that you write in every name to avoid confusion.
It may be more effort but if you think that every unwanted wedding guest could cost around £25 per head then it’s an effort worth making.
Some clever couples go a step further to avoid confusion and write on the invites We’ve reserved xx seats for you so as to leave the guest in no doubt about who is invited. This option is polite, simple and unmistakably clear.
If you are inviting a couple but not their children, or a singleton without their new boyfriend, then it is only polite to insert a note explaining that you are on a budget and due to increasing numbers, you cannot unfortunately cater for any extra guests. Some disappointment is bound to ensue when you are limiting numbers so a short explanatory note is a conciliatory gesture on your part.
Dealing With Unexpected Wedding Guests on the Day
No matter how strict you are with invites there is usually one unexpected wedding guest to deal with on the day. You have to give allowances for the fact that babysitters may let couples down or that an impertinent teenager has sneaked in her boyfriend. It’s always advisable anyway to over-cater rather than under-cater when it comes to weddings.
Most caterers, when asked to cater for a wedding party, will usually make sure there is a little bit extra but it’s worth mentioning this to them just to ensure that you have plenty go round. Also have some extra chairs on standby.
Remember that not everything can go according to plan and so when that extra boyfriend, or 5 children turn up you may just have to grit your teeth and bear it.
Of course if you do happen upon any wedding crashers you can either congratulate them on their brazenness or simply have them escorted from the premises, it’s entirely up to you!